Lore: Random Villagers

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Ever need someone to just…be there? Try one of these random NPCs below.

Aram of Jones Hall: Tall, sturdy, and extremely friendly, this bearded farmer is the guy you’d want as a passerby if you ever got yourself into trouble. Aram prides himself on his usefulness and his willingness to help. He knows first aid, how to do basic repairs to almost anything, and has a backlog of useful trivia. Full of stories about the random people he’s helped in the past, it can be difficult to get Aram to stop talking. Despite being married and the father of ten or so children (all of whom look disturbingly like him), Aram particularly wants to come to the aid of beautiful young ladies (whether they need it or not) but has no conscious awareness of his own lustiness. Has an irritating habit of chuckling at inappropriate times. Your PCs will probably like this guy right away, but then find him more and more unnerving.

Ella Paterson: Dark-haired and sulky-faced, Ella has been serving ale at the local inn for just over a year. She is human, but because of her small stature, she is often mistaken for a half-gnome, which irritates her greatly. Jealous and petty by nature, a lot of things seem to bother Ella — she is an extremely sensitive person — but she never snaps, just looks wan and carries her tray away with a mysterious sigh. A certain percentage of men fall hard for Ella and find it difficult to get over her (this percentage could certainly include someone in your party). She will string along anyone indefinitely, but is waiting for a literal knight in shining armor, or perhaps a minor prince. Ella is highly intelligent, and her big dark eyes take in all of the details, intrigues, and subtle goings-on at the local inn. If she feels flattered by someone (and not in any cheap way either), she is more than willing to share. Doesn’t like other women much, except for Sapphic types or victims of disfiguring accidents.

Benzil the Magistrate: Small and stooped, Benzil’s head is covered with a thick mat of gray hair. The heir of his forefathers’ general lack of ambition, Benzil is long accustomed to being the smartest guy in the room and rather likes it that way. Though he admits to being a poor implementer himself, Benzil is convinced he has all the answers to any problem humanity has ever faced. (Believes, for instance, that God should not have rested on the seventh day, but gone on to build civilian infrastructure.) Since running unopposed for the position of village magistrate last autumn, Benzil thinks he has attained the highest pinnacle of human achievement. Spends most of his time at the local inn, swilling weak ale and offering unsolicited advice. Never married and has few close associates, but those that take the time to get to know Benzil find him a loyal and generous friend.

Marlys The Town Fool: If you think about it, “town fool” is a sad thing to be, and it is even more pitiful to be a town fool of the female variety. Marlys is well past fifty now, and over the decades townspeople have tried to help her to learn juggling or begging, but she’s hopeless at all of it. One of the more studious local lads managed to teach her a long list of aphorisms and Zen-koan-like questions, but she tends to bring them out at inappropriate times, usually during uncomfortable silences. Very well-meaning and has a sunny disposition, but falls into despair and flees when reminded of her own uselessness.

Josiah Bakerson: Josiah has been delivering bread and sweets to the whole village, literally since the day he could walk. Now a lanky teenager, Josiah uses the baker’s deliveries as a cover for his own petty but vicious criminal organization. Josiah’s pious parents have been told about their son’s true nature more than once, but Josiah is tremendously lucky and his hastily-invented alibis end up checking out every time. He is also extremely lucky in games of chance. As a result, the villagers think of Josiah as being almost invincible. Has greatly expanded his father’s business simply by using intimidation. There are, for instance, no “day old goods” at his father’s bakery; Josiah sells any leftovers door-to-door, for twice the price. Has a menacing look and greasy, unmanageable hair.

Draiah of Engle’s Cape: The first thing anyone notices about Draiah is her long, flowing red hair. Combined with her pale skin and long gowns, it gives her an otherworldly, ethereal sort of look. Spends most of her time gathering flowers, singing, and communing with backyard birds. That’s really all that interests Draiah, much to the disappointment of local menfolk. She is given to occasional disturbing, prophetic dreams, after which she looks rumpled and has dark circles under her eyes.

Brother Gideon: Wandering monk who often stays at the local inn. Creator of many elaborate roadside shrines. Has several dozen illegitimate children from his pre-monastic days. Is usually out in the forest seeking enlightenment when his various children happen to pass through town. Very intelligent and charismatic, he’s a wonderful conversationalist.

Harrell: A thin and wiry man, Harrell owns a farm just outside of town. Hates everyone and has spent most of his life accumulating and cataloguing resentments. Walks around with his fists clenched. His face is red as if his whole body is a slowly-burning fuse. Has been involved in endless litigation but has not yet struck out violently at anyone in town, though that seems inevitable. Joins angry mobs whenever possible. He has a wife and family, including two strong sons, who all seem normal. Becomes livid when people tie their horses to his fence posts.

Tom the Junkman: You wouldn’t believe what people in this town throw away! Or drop. Or leave unattended on their windowsills. Desperately afraid that someone will steal his goods, Tom carries all his wares with him in various bulging pockets and assorted sacks.Tom sets his prices far too high but can be easily swayed by unappetizing food that reminds him of the poverty of his youth, like baked pigeon. Sacks NOT for sale.

Wendy Larch: Town nurse. Since the untimely death of Doctor Poitras, Wendy is the only trained medical professional in the village. Is apt to tell you about everyone else’s illnesses in gruesome detail while she’s fixing you up. The concept of patient privacy and sterilization is alien to Wendy. Loves delivering babies but doesn’t like children at all and tends to think they’re all malingerers, even when they present with broken limbs. Claims to actually like the smell of corpses. Has the best flower and vegetable garden in town.

More next week. I’ll try to make them more normal. This batch came out a bit…odd.